This Party is Cooked

 

Looking at this picture in 2020 nearly made my eyes roll so far back they'd plinko down my spine at such velocity they'd perforate my bowels and crack the earth's crust. Viewing it feels like a sudden memory jolt - the kind that transports you back to being 12 years old, frozen in place trying to talk to a girl, only to stand there beet red, gooning silently until her evolutionary instincts kicked in and she chose to deny your existence for the rest of her natural life.

To call it cringe would be a tragic understatement; these people are so hopelessly unserious and disconnected from tangible reality that they'd drape themselves in Ghanaian Kente cloth - a rare textile actual Ghanaians struggle to access - and kneel in solemn performance art for... whom, exactly? Who was this for?! George Floyd's death was tragic (if you think otherwise you're a neanderthal who jerks off to state violence), but it's the same energy as dressing up like Natives to apologize for the Trail of Tears, and our current reality has gone so far off the rails I wouldn't be shocked if you told me that happened already. 

The geriatric misfits fronting this photo still occupy key positions of power. In the five years since, they've helped pave the way for palpable fascism to ascend in both the Oval Office and Congress. Having learned nothing from years of public humiliation, self-sabotaging stunts, and a talent for turning every minority segment under their political umbrella toward candidates who won't work for them, they went and did this shit:

Who workshopped this? Who signed off on it? Were the Care Bears unavailable to tit-flash the president in a last-ditch effort to thwart his destruction of American governance? This muppet bingo stunt isn't quite on par with 2020, but it's close! 

And no - my thoughts aren't the angry remonstrances of the far left, who somehow managed to do almost as much as Republicans to tank the election in favor of Trump in their pursuit of a socialist paradise they'll never, ever see. The irony is that Joe Biden spent his entire presidency groveling to this constituency of dick-shitting toddlers, and they despise him for it. 

I'm hitting them from the other side. The best part - the richest part of all - is that these Democrats are supposed to be the normal ones. Their leadership are center-left normies. The sensible, pragmatic adults in the room. And yet, with laser precision, they managed to seek out every single 80-20 issue and proudly plant their flag on the 20% side like it was a moral victory. They embraced wildly unpopular ideas on the most delicate cultural issues and somehow acted shocked when regular people didn't just fall in line.

It's a special kind of confident stupidity - the kind cultivated by dominating all mainstream institutions. They have a kinky fetish for pandering to the whims of rich progressive nonprofits pushing boutique, upper-class garbage that normal Americans either don't give a shit about or instinctively recoil from the second they hear it.

Do you think Donald Trump poses an existential threat? Do you think his actions are not in the best interest of the United States? Do you see the devastating impacts DOGE is having on health research and veteran employment & healthcare? How about the largest tax increase in American history in the form of draconian tariffs? Walk out. Just walk the fuck out. Because Republicans are literally advising their caucuses not to hold town halls - not to meet with their own constituents - out of fear they'll get their asses handed to them by the very people who voted them in. And here's the thing: those constituents - left, right, and center - are already pissed off. Their "Fell For It Again" awards notwithstanding, they're angry. They're gettable. Their votes are sitting there, gift-wrapped, for the low, low price of just being normal and talking to them like normal human beings about normal shit. Do that, maybe. 

If I see one more land acknowledgment I am going to do a toilet acknowledgment with my face.